Huzzah, I have finally managed to bamboozle some poor trusting fool into hiring me! Using the time honored combination of writing begging letters and exploiting the contacts of everyone I know, I have landed a temporary gig marketing a magazine. Awesome! No, wait. I mean extremely scary. Because I have no experience whatsoever in marketing, and after I accepted the job I had to call a friend who works in marketing to ask him what it is, exactly, that he does all day. And because I've only had one job in the last decade, and I'm terrified of starting something new. In my previous job I was the unquestioned lord and master (at least in my head) and I ruled my tiny empire with an iron fist. And the lure of biscuits and the promise of additional biscuits if my minions pleased me kept unruly behaviour in check. Now I have to go somewhere where I don't know anyone, and I will have to submit to other people's snacking whims.
So here's my plan. Bring biscuits. Be awesome. Or at least not totally useless. And work to win the hearts and minds of the people, thus forming a new petty empire to rule over.
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| I totally look like I know what I'm doing |
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