What is wrong with me? What is wrong with us as a society?
Friday night, I’m too tired to cook, so let’s order a pizza.
What’s the phone number for Crust? I’ll just Google it.
Hey, they have online ordering now, how snazzy!
Damn, have to create an account.
Fine.
User name taken, please choose again.
Fine, new user name, which I will not remember next time.
Order one vegetarian supreme, one cheese lovers with pepperoni.
Website freezes, times out.
Fine, start again. One vegetarian supreme, one cheese lovers with pepperoni.
Website returns ‘page not found’
Fine, start again. One vegetarian supreme, one cheese lovers with pepperoni.
You have ordered 6 pizzas, is this correct? No.
Fine, go back into order, delete extra pizzas, return to checkout.
Please enter your credit card details.
Please enter your name as it appears on the card.
Please enter the expiry date.
Please enter your security number.
Fine.
Would you like to subscribe to our newsletter?
No.
Your pizza will be with you in about an hour.
That all took me at least twenty minutes. If I had called and spoken to an actual person instead it would have taken thirty seconds and I would have been eating at least twenty minutes earlier.
This is the price you pay for being an underprivileged shut-in.
This is the price you pay for being an underprivileged shut-in.
The end.
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